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| Category: Conscious Relationships |
Date published: July 17, 2008 |
Three Quick and Easy Ways to Dramatically Improve Your Marriage: Listen, Learn, and Love
by Pete Koerner
(Email: Pete@ExploreExpandEvolve.com)
 If your marriage isn't working for you, maybe you aren't working enough for it. A marriage is a relationship; and no ship will steer its own course - or stay afloat very long without maintenance. If your relationship is feeling more like a "slave-ship," or a "war-ship," here are three-things you can do that will make it seem more like a "cruise-ship" - and help you turn your marriage into a dream vacation:
1. Listen. Listen to your partner; and listen to yourself. Communication is essential in a relationship; you aren't really in a relationship without it - even if you live together. And, without learning to listen to - and discern - the different voices within you, you can't truly know yourself. Without knowing yourself, how can you introduce yourself to another person? Listening is such a rare skill that you will receive "bonus points" in any situation where you are caught actually paying attention to your partner as if they really matter to you; most people don't - which is why most marriages end in divorce.
2. Learn. Learn to listen, learn to communicate, learn to be a better partner (we can all stand to be better), learn who your partner is, learn compassion, learn emotional self-management, learn to take personal responsibility, and learn from the relationship and the things that happen in it rather than blaming your own personal problems and "short-comings" on your relationship, or some other person - especially someone you supposedly love and honor. "Learn" can also be interpreted as, "Grow up." Personal growth is essential for a happy relationship - or a happy life. Knowledge is power; gather it and use it wisely.
3. Love. Love is all we need because love is all there is. Everyone has it; though some aren't aware of it, or don't understand where to "find" it, how to use it, or what love truly is. If there are conditions, it isn't love; it is some form of attachment. Learn to love unconditionally. Your only other choice is to continue suffering until you do. Spend time thinking fondly of your partner, and thinking of ways to express your love. In order to have a better relationship, you must visualize, or imagine, the kind of relationships you want, and then love your relationship as you watch it transform one step at a time.
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