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| Category: Conscious Relationships |
Date published: July 18, 2008 |
 With so many marriages ending in divorce, it is hard to believe all those people actually made an effort to repair their situations and learn about marriage - and their partner. I have observed, and found in my own, personal experience, that a little effort can go a long way when it comes to any relationship; and, conversely, no effort will make any relationship go away. When you take steps in one direction, others will tend to either follow you, or resist you. If you direct your energy - mental, emotional, and physical - toward creating a great relationship, that's what you'll eventually create.
But in order to expend any energy at all, or make any extra efforts in any particular direction, people need incentive. Marriage is something you are in all day every day; it's a full-time job that requires thought and effort. Of course, you can either love your job or hate it; and your choice here makes all the difference in the world to your health, happiness, and life - even your financial situations. Why should you work to improve your marriage? Because your marriage will heal you and fulfill you, or it will kill you; the choice is yours, and the deciding factor is how much thought, positive emotion and constructive, loving energy you invest in your marriage. If you need incentives to work on improving your marriage, here are three good reasons to work on your marriage that apply to everyone:
1. Happiness - Whether you are married and unhappy, or unhappily married, you need to separate the concepts of marriage and happiness. If you aren't a happy person, you aren't going to help anyone else be happy; and every relationship you enter will be unbalanced - them trying to make you happy, or give you happiness, that you can't receive because happiness can truly only be found within you. However, if you do marriage right, you will have a best friend, a devoted partner, and a passionate lover - all in one place! If you put the right kinds of energy and attention into your marriage, you will definitely find yourself becoming happier and happier until, one day, you finally realize what your love, attention, and focus on your marriage has done to improve every other part of your life. Happily married people are some of the happiest and healthiest people on the planet. But they are indeed a rare breed.
2. Health - It is said that married people live longer. If marriage increases your happiness level, then it is indeed good for your health. However, if your marriage is in disrepair, then it is causing you stress whether you realize it, or not. Stress can have a tremendous, negative impact on your health and every other area of your life. Stress has been reported to be responsible for about 90% of all doctor visits; and marriages cause a great deal of stress. Learning to manage your thoughts and emotions could dramatically improve your health, life, and longevity.
3. Money - From a financial perspective, marriage is a good deal. You really don't even have to think about that one. And, just like in the business world, turn-over is expensive. Divorces are expensive, dating is expensive, "training" a new employee (or partner) is expensive and takes time, and you still may end up in a place that won't get any better unless you work on it. Why not go with your first (or most recent) choice and work on what you already have? It is much less expensive to learn about people and relationships than it is to throw away one life and build another one - which will likely have the same problems since we carry those around with us until we learn to resolve them. Marriages and human relationships, in general, are valuable treasures and resources; invest in your investment.
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