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| Category: Emotional Healing |
Date published: September 8, 2008 |
 What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much?
Is it the heavy duty emoting that we do to work through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to this pain? Let's face it, it's difficult down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around.
We understand that this is necessary, at a surface level, but how we are feeling is what really counts. In that place we call Grief & Loss is where pain dominates our life and where suffering is the paramount teacher. This is difficult. We know it all too well at times like these. We go there because we have to, but we try hard to escape as soon as possible.
What is necessary to get through this process?
Is it simply a matter of toughing it out or do we have to dredge and dig and pummel ourselves along the way? It's hard to be sure what we must do at such times.
All the Gurus that say "do it this way or that way", are they capable of handling it themselves? As a survivor, going through grief, I would want to know that. The essence of false advertising is "never having been there yourself". Absolutely, this we all know without a doubt.
So what do we require to move through the landscape of Grief & Loss?
We know that deep down where our sorrows dwell, there is an inescapable reality. We have to feel this. It is an ugly fact, but true nevertheless. We have to feel this pain in order to exorcise it from our bodies. We have to feel it so we can learn that this too we can survive. The most important thing in all such activities is to know where you are at in your own heart when you finally uncover the truth?
This truth is your truth. It is that feeling in your gut when you know you are right.
Since this is your truth, only you can determine its validity for yourself. No guru can do this for you. Deep down, this is your "house", your well-spring of creative experience. What happens here will define your life. It will tell you who you are and what you have to experience at times of grief and loss.
It may seem sad to arrive in this "feeling" place where grief has brought you. Perhaps, it is a better thing than you imagined, this place where truth resides within. Perhaps, it is more than you ever bargained for. Grief brought you here, but what else goes on in this place of tender emotion? How about looking around, since you're already here?
These are your life lessons, to have and to hold, until your truths can be borne.
How could you ever have a guru do that for you? No such luck! You have to do it yourself. But what a fantastic opportunity to get to know yourself better, to live deep inside your own heart and soul while this grieving process goes on around and within you.
Let me assure you that you will survive.
You will overcome these tragic effects. There is truth inside where you live. And that truth will take you somewhere important. This is Your Truth. Only you can assess, experience and benefit from the effects it will have upon you.
So Do It!
Allow yourself to descend to where it hurts and find out for yourself what this experience of grief and loss is, and what it can teach you that might correct your misperceptions about Life, Love & Purpose. You have access to your truth, just as I do, just as we all do. As lessons arrive, they are yours for the taking. We all get them. Grief and Loss are one avenue to help us get to our very own Truth. The suffering will eventually pass, but the Truth - well, that's forever!
Maurice Turmel holds a PhD in Counseling Psychology. He was a practicing therapist for nearly 25 years providing counseling and therapy to individuals, groups, organizations and families. He is the author of The Voice - A Metaphor for Personal Development; Mythical Times - Exploring Life, Love & Purpose; and When Angels Call - Spiritual and Emotional Recovery from Grief and Loss. He has been a guest on numerous regional television and radio talk shows in support of his publications.
http://www.griefandlossrecovery.com drmoe@personalgrowthadvisor.com
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