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| Category: Emotional Healing |
Date published: April 29, 2005 |
We are Not Powerless over our Emotions
by Pip Wilson
 Most people, it seems, believe that humans are powerless over their emotions.
However, I now know this sense of powerlessness is one of life's great misconceptions. While we are relatively (not completely) powerless over emotions from showing up in our lives, we have a huge amount of power about how we respond to, manage and organise our feelings.
When we manage our feelings, our thinking will follow those feelings. Just as when we are crazy with anger our heads don't work well, so it is that when we feel great feelings, our minds will think great thoughts. Below are some tips and techniques for emotional management. I have learned them in many ways, experiences and places and it is my privilege to share them with you.
I feel 90 per cent good 90 per cent of the time. I don't ask for much more than that. Yet in April 1998 I felt so horrible that I was about to take my own life. Fortunately a remarkable intervention saved me from that awful act. I was so fortunate not to have died, that now I want to share with others the steps I took to change from feeling lousy to feeling good. How have I achieved this turnaround? Do I possess a secret formula?
No, I have simply learned a few techniques, and put them into practice. I am building my own 'feelgood' technology and you can too with these and any other tools you seek out.
Illusions and misconceptions Perhaps it's a good idea to find tools that can be used for our emotional health that complement spiritual practice - techniques that do not conflict in any way with whatever spiritual beliefs we might hold, if any. I feel confident in saying that these tools below will not clash with any spiritual path you might be on.
The illusion of external emotions
First, however, we need to become aware of, and deconstruct, some illusions - illusions that we, as humans, all live with most of the time.
For example, one illusion we all share is that the earth is flat, although photographs from space prove otherwise. Even though we know in our heads that the world is round, we behave and think as if it were flat.
We also think that matter is solid, though it is mostly empty space. We behave and talk as if the sun revolves around the earth - we say it rises and sets. We also act as if the days are grouped naturally into weeks of seven days, and believe that the past is actually impinging on our enjoyment of the present.
Similarly, it is quite normal to believe, or rather, to feel, that the source or cause of our emotions often comes from outside our bodies.
All in our capsule of meat
What seems to me to be true, however, is that everything we think and feel takes place within our own bodies, our own `capsule of meat' as I call it.
By and large, people don't physically affect each other's emotions or thoughts. Yet we habitually imagine that people can influence our feelings and our minds by their words, actions or even thoughts. The children's rhyme is more accurate: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me!"
Although it feels as though what we are feeling comes from the outside, in truth, what we're feeling is actually our own, internal response to stimuli. In the main, we affect only ourselves, and others affect only themselves. This is a primary truth of emotions, one that is important to grasp fully.
Our mistaken expressions of speech
The illusions, however, are strong. We even have expressions that perpetuate them, like:
"Sandra hurt my feelings."
"John makes me feel young again."
"The Rolling Stones turn me on."
"Winning the lottery made Laura happy."
"Jack bores me."
"That idiot makes me so mad!"
This is a reduced version of Pip's article, which may be found in full (free) at www.wilsonsalmanac.com/power.html
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