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| Category: Comedic Relief |
Date published: October 10, 2004 |
Your wig falls off at a party or your false teeth slips out of your mouth while talking. You know those embarrassing moments that leave others laughing and your children mortified. No one goes out of their way to make a fool of themselves, and yet, they are the moments that provide stories and laughter for years...even after your death.
I had such a moment...no, I've had many, but this is just one of them, one that could inspire a commercial. I can envision Mr. Ripple running for the security camera to watch the replay.
It was the 80's, and even though I was in my early forties, I was still a fairly foxy lady for a woman of middle age. My hair had been showing signs of aging, but my best friend Lady Clairol had taken care of that problem for me. Yes, I know, I'm a name-dropper. Five children, the youngest a teenager, and one grandchild, but not too old to wear fashion boots with my calf length burgundy leather coat.
My teen was in the car with me on this particular day. I stopped off at the grocery store to purchase one item, just one item...a six pack of Charmin toilet tissue. It's the softest, you know. I was strutting down the middle of the grocery isle with my head held high, toilet paper in my arms and my daughter walking behind me. Yes, I was `cool' dressed in my long leather coat and fancy boots, my newly died hair resting on my shoulders.
"I's cool, I's cool,".... CURPLOP.
My feet in those fancy boots crossed each other and down I went. My body prone and face buried in that fluffy white cloud. I hadn't realized it, but as I lay there, I was kicking my feet behind me.
"MA!" My daughter said in a frantic, but somewhat hushed tone of voice. "Don't just lay there kicking your feet, GET UP!"
In a daze, I picked myself up, my perfectly styled, newly dyed hair a mess, and rushed with my toilet paper for the first check out line. My lovely young daughter, trailing red-faced behind me.
With a newly found humility, I paid for my paper and headed for the door. Was Mr. Ripple in the back laughing? Who knows?
But you know something? He was right...CHARMIN IS THE SOFTEST.
I learned the grocery store in the next town was all right, too...and so were tennis shoes.
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In My Own Words: Out-of-the-Ordinary Experiences
