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| Category: The Sacred In Everyday Life |
Date published: August 26, 2005 |
 "Lord, forgive me when I whine," are words taken from a country music song, and today they shouted back at me.
I brought my granddaughter to the dentist today. Sitting on one of the sofas in the waiting room was a woman. I noticed unusually dark circles around her eyes, along with an ill-fitting wig upon her head. I thought perhaps she'd had cancer or been ill. She looked to be older than me, but I later learned, she was just thirty-nine. Our conversation began with small talk, but it soon turned into more. This woman was brimming over with frustration. She lacked money, not for luxuries, that was a given, but for the necessities of life, to pay the rent, electric bill, and clothing for her children, and of this fact is what she spoke.
Now most might say, "Get a job," and that would make since if she were not attempting to do just that. She'd been everywhere, she said, and yet no job. Her husband has one; even one he likes, but when work grew slack, was cut back in hours. He now works one week on and one week off. "A lifetime of working and we have nothing," she said of herself and her husband, "nothing except for each other. I guess that should count for something," she added, "after all these years, I still love him and he loves me." I agreed, but knew in my heart that love can't place food on the table, nor can it clothe your children. Words continued to pour from her mouth.
As she spoke, I thought of my own humble beginnings, not only as a child, but also as an adult, struggling in my early years of marriage. I, too, worried about such things, how to pay the rent, buy groceries and clothe my children. Thankfully, those hard years didn't last. Oh, my husband and I aren't rolling in money, but we do quite well, and for this I am grateful. Even with my many blessings, I thought of how often I whine. As if I'd forgotten those gone by years.
"My mother and father keep my two children," the woman said, her mother insisted. No grandchildren of hers would be forced to sleep on the floor. At the time, they lived in a small hotel room. They have a house trailer now, she said, but the children continue to live with their grandparents because it's too small to hold them all. "My mother is forever calling me up for money," she said, "she knows we don't have any." I could feel her frustration as she spoke. "I'm looking for a job, can I help it if no one will hire me?" she said, not expecting an answer from me.
I've been in the workforce; I know how employers think. The woman was on the heavy side, the first prejudice found in the workforce, and the dark circles beneath her eyes weren't appealing, nor was her ill-fitting wig. I felt deeply for this woman, knowing the difficulty she was facing. The society in which we live places great importance on youth and outer appearances, sometimes more so than the skills a man or woman has to offer. Unfortunately, this woman had little to offer an employer, few skills. "I can sew," she said, "but the places I applied wouldn't even give me an interview." Again, I could feel her frustration, even anger.
A young teenage boy came out from the back room, his dentist appointment completed. He turned out to be the woman's son, thusly ending our conversation. I heard the receptionist as she gave them a return appointment and commented that she'd be returning on my birthday. When my granddaughter was finished with her appointment, she, too, was given that date to return. I don't know if I will meet up with this woman and her son at that time, but if I do, I pray for her sake that her circumstances have changed.
Before returning my granddaughter to school, we stopped off at McDonald's for a sandwich. I pulled a twenty-dollar bill from my billfold and felt guilty as I did so. Yes, my husband and I worked hard for what we have, but that doesn't change the fact that I often lose sight of many blessings in my life.
"Oh, Lord, forgive me when I whine."
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In My Own Words: Out-of-the-Ordinary Experiences
